cheesecake, projections, and eli the cat

I am losing my touch and there is no way to start something properly when it is long overdue. Prague. Let's talk about that. It is not that I do anything in particular or even that I feel as though I have found a particular place of my own in this city but it seems to suck people in. It lures people from their week long vacations into domestic lives. It tempts people into ex-patriotism and provides one with many a bars down dingy, mangled streets and allies. To say the least it will be missed. I have established that going back to the farm will be much harder than I intended it to be. On that note, the lack of drawn out conversations and flirtations in my own language will hopefully lead to a puddle of time that lends itself towards creativity. I have goals dammit! I wish I could list them all right now two after one ten after nine but I am selfish and I want to secretly check them off with no one's hand but my own patting my back. One day the list of things that I have done with my life will reveal itself.

I am having a hard time tracing steps into the past few weeks so I will try to start informing my way back. I woke up this morning next to a guy from some town next to some Dot on the map in Kentucky. I would say that he is a not so nice boy that is very nice to look at. Everything about the evening was predictable. We met the evening before at Ken Nash and Sarah's headlining show and after an evening of flirtatious jabs at each others lives, which was only a means to blatantly make fun of ourselves and find comradery in the fact that we were mirror images of the same tragic tale it was almost fate that we would suffer through it again. He advertised his emotional unavailability in the most inviting of ways and the poor Czech girl who sat starry-eyed within range went home with him, as she has many nights before, feeling like one day he would admit to being her boyfriend. I will remain to feel emotionally unattached and continue to take all life and joy out of analyzing my own tragic existence through his. That said, the morning this was great. We passively aggressively made breakfast, ate it, and listened to (smog) and seemed to do it with a sense of familiarity and ease. Strange how that shit plays out but overall it was only how it could be expected to be. You meet someone but you see them from across the room first and let it happen. You say things and it is as though you are both allowing one thing lead to the next as though the rules of engagement are only for humors sake. You very well could have said "nice to meet you, now lets skip to the good part". There were no formalities in our goodbye. I could just as well never see him again as start bumping into him all the time.

Mom and Dad AKA Sarah and Ryan have taken me in, fed me, given me a place to sleep, and in turn I started making cheesecakes, organizing cupboards, and trying to show my appreciation in any way I can. They are the picture perfect, ex-pat, domestic residents of Prague. Sarah stuns the very walls that surround her with her quirky yet refined appearance and grace. Ryan manages to make that very same room laugh out loud in calculated bursts with his presence, and Eli the cat is the yogurt to the soup...absolutely complementary. It has been a true pleasure to be a part of their world.

My time is coming to a close. The late night drawing classes, the Bikram Yoga, the days after days of shoving Czech into every orifices of my body, the homemade soups and various delectable cuisines, the moving of the cat poddy trainer to use the bathroom late at night.... it will all be missed. I am wondering how winter will treat me here and weather or not I will wilt with the coming of the season.